Welcome To My Padded Cell

So I've tried this before and it helped, but I fell out of the habit and the memoirs from before don't need to mingle with my problems now; so I made this shiny new outlet to express myself and my feelings, and try to get myself back on an emotionally -stable- track, whatever that is. So let me go ahead and get right to the start of things. Depression sucks and right now I'm knee deep in it. My love life is questionable at the moment, and while I have awesome friends that support me they can't really replace the rock I thought I had that is currently shaking and threatening to dislodge itself from its current position to fall lower on the pile of things important to me. I don't want this and I'm not sure my rock does either but I can't change it only my rock can and Mr. Rock is so confused right now I don't think he entirely knows what he is doing. But enough of putting the cart before the horse or however that saying goes. I know I need to focus on the now and not the "What Ifs" I have good friends that have told me that enough times tonight for it to stick, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Without my friends I would have already collapsed into an inconsolable ball in the corner of my cell hissing and screaming at anyone that tried to come near me. Either way I will let one thing carry over and that is the video(s) to match my mood in the posts because sometimes songs explain what I am feeling better than I can.